Monday, June 8, 2009

Boredom

So no pics of cute little miss Harley Jeanne this time- I've been a bit preoccupied... on bedrest for the last 3 weeks. I've done relatively well as far as boredom and such, but today it really got to me- not really the boredom part, its the part where my daughter hates me.No really, she screams when I try to comfort her or if I try to hold her (even when I know I'm not supposed to). She's turned into quite the daddy's girl which is way cute, but frustrating too because she really wants nothing to do with me. I can't really blame her considering I can't give her the attention she wants and deserves and that there's no way of her understanding why mom is laying on the couch or in bed and is there, but not really there for her. Today it really broke my heart, and I know that pregnancy hormones doesn't help, but I thought I was being strong about it and really understanding about why she's acting the way she is, but I can't help but feel hurt and angry today that there is absolutely nothing I can do to help her in any way. I really hope she comes to forgive me when this is all said and done, although the adjustment of a new baby brother isn't going to help much either. Only five more weeks to go unless Paxton decides he's had enough (I know I have ;)) and comes sometime soon. Don't mean to have an annoying post, just needed to vent :) I'll let you all know how everything goes!

6 comments:

Tami said...

You are doing great baby! Harley will forget all about this on about the second day. You are doing what you HAVE to do to get another healthy baby here. I'm sure it's been awful, but there will be no long lasting effects! You are a great mom, keep up the good work! Love you!

Steph said...

I am sorry sweety! It is never easy when your baby wants daddy over mommy! She will come around, don't you worry! You are doing great and need to remember that Paxton needs you right now too...he is not quite ready and it wouldn't do anyone any good if he came before he was really strong enough! Love you...call me anytime even if you just need to cry or vent! I love you.

Mindy said...

Erin, how frustrating...I know, mom is suppose to be #1. Pretty soon you'll be #1 again :) I didn't know you were on bed rest until Darin told us at Chris's wedding...sorry you have to be down, no fun. Hope Paxton (cute name) comes soon...so you can get up!!!

Anonymous said...

Good luck Hon! You're an awesome Mommy and everything will work out. Harley will be such a great big sister. :) We'll be thinking of you and praying for you.

Candi said...

Hope all is well. Sorry you have to do bedrest. I did that with Tanner and it was very hard. Please let us know when you have your cute baby. We will be praying for you.

snow family said...

VENT all you need to!! I think anyone would have the same feelings! But we all know Harley loves her mommy :)